Tom Swifty Kweezzz by @notytony (23/12/2013)

//If you came here looking for a Christmas miracle, no we’re not back with more crosswords. 

A Tom Swifty (or Tom Swiftie) is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed. You can find a few examples here. They are immense fun if you are the kind of person whom your friends routinely groan at when you make poor  jokes.

So last night, in an attempt to find like-minded jokers I conducted a @kweezzz on twitter. The challenge was to identify the pun that fits the context and the number of letters indicated. The questions below (includes one bonus question which I missed). The answers will be posted in a week’s time, go ahead, give it a shot and post your answers/comments/death threats here. You could also yell at me on twitter here.

1. “I represent this company” said Tom ______ (6)

2. “This angle is less than 90 degrees” observed Tom _______ (7)

3. “Let’s sign this contract and be friends” said Tom ________ (8)

4. “You’ll have to come back later, I’m consulting now” said Dr Tom _________ (9)

5. “Sir, the axle shaft is broken, you’ll have to leave the vehicle with me” said Tom ____________ (12)

6. “I am a Manchester United player” said Tom ________ (8)

7. “Mom, I was only pulling your leg” said Tom ____________ (12)

8. “We are ready to go to school now” said Tom and Tim _________ (9)

9. “Wear this amulet, it will bring you good luck” said Tom __________ (10)

10. “Hey jailbird, this offer is too good, give in” said Tom with _______ (8)

11. “I am stuck in a labyrinth” said Tom _________ (9)

12. “The appetizers are yummy, I’m waiting for the lavish main course” said Tom ______________ (14)

13. “2 of the 4 cards I’m holding are of the same suit” admitted Tom ____-_________ (4-9)

14. “Muscles in my face twitch involuntarily” said Edgar Allan __________ (10)

15. “I have an extreme case of H1N1” said Tom _____________ (13)

16. (Bonus Question) “Are you the shopkeeper? I am looking to buy a bunch of stuff” said Tom ___________ (11)